This entry is part of a collaboration for Wordgoddess. Our assignment word: "annoying".

I was going to write an uplifting entry about how big annoying stuff is really little annoying stuff when put into context and how we should overlook it and embrace glasses that are half-full instead of half-empty and so on and so on blablabla. But then I realized how annoying THAT could be. :-)

So here is my list of Annoying Things. I reserve the right to change my mind about any of them at anytime because I know that even the most annoying thing can sometimes flip-flop into something ok-wonderful under the right circumstances (especially if I've had enough plum wine).

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Debbie's List Of Annoying Things

Perfume samples in magazines. Gag.

People who talk or kick your chair or sit in front of you with big hair during movies.

Mosquitoes.

Call waiting.

The insert cards in magazines that fall out as you flip the pages. And forget about trying to rip them out ahead of time because, like the #*$^% sock that always manages to hide in your dryer, one will inevitably succeed in evading your feverish search and leap out at you when you least expect it.

Pop-up ads.

Shopping for a swimsuit.

Riding an elevator with someone wearing too much perfume or cologne.

Paper cuts.

E-mail messages with blank subject headers.

In the original Star Trek episode, "Where No Man Has Gone Before", Gary Mitchell writes "James R. Kirk" on Kirk's gravestone when Kirk's middle name is Tiberius.

Nitpickers.

Brainfreeze.

Sticky movie theater floors.

People sending me manuscripts in huge whopping e-mail attachments to my Market Watch address without permission and asking me for publisher suggestions despite my saying how much I hate when people do this.

Seeds in grapes when you're expecting seedless.

Big group e-mails where all the e-mail addresses are in the TO: field instead of hidden in the BCC: field.

Getting cat fur up my nose.

Tangles.

When something good turns into a cliche.

Exploding ballpoint pens.

Thinking you picked the fastest line in the airport immigration room coming back into Canada and it turns out to be the slowest line.

Picking the fastest line at the supermarket and it turns out to be the slowest line.

Lines/queues in general.

Freezer burn.

Teletubbies.

Slow-loading Web pages.

Those CD wrapper sticker-thingies that are nearly impossible to pry off. Ditto for DVD packaging.

When telemarketers leave messages on our answering service or when you pick up the phone and get a recorded telemarketing message.

Soy yogurt.

Motion sickness.

Clowns. (thoughtful pause) Nevermind...they're SCARY, not annoying.

Rejection slips.

E-mail spam. Did you know that two-thirds of all e-mail is spam?!

The fact that Angel's getting cancelled.

Taxes.

Guys who grunt in the weight room.

"Please forward" types of email, especially if they are supposedly from a child or supposed to help a child but inevitably aren't. Y'know, "Little Irving has (cancer / a school assignment / bad gas) and would really like it if you would send (money / an e-mail / asparagus) to (this address / 20 of your closest friends / everyone you know)."

Squishy cucumbers.

404 Not Found.

No toilet paper.

Houseplants that die no matter what you do.

Yappy dogs.

People who take lists like this too seriously.

The word inflammable.

People who think that writing a children's book is easy and fun and GOSH, they've been thinking of writing one too, maybe this weekend.

Buying something then seeing it on sale the next week.

Finally throwing something out then needing it the next week.

Squeaky shoes.

Corporate buzzwords.

Matrix Reloaded.

When ViaVoice censors my swear words.

When bananas go from underripe to brown and squishy in one day.

Mistaking flour for sugar in a recipe for banana bread. Like I did recently.

Stale chocolate.

No chocolate.

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Hey, I'm on a roll. An annoying roll. I'd better stop now.

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