(The main character is falling asleep and meditating on the death of his best friend)

'It seems to him as if they are taking a course in loss lately. And as he feels himself falling asleep he has an insight that he believes is important which he hopes he will remember it in the morning, although it is one of those thoughts that seldom survive the translation to the language of daylight hours. Knowing that whatever plenty befalls them, together or separately in the future, they will become more and more intimate with loss as the years accumulate. Friends dying, or slipping away undramatically into the crowded past, memory itself finally flickering and growing treacherous towards the end...' (apologies for any punctuation errors, I transcribed it from the interview)

I feel that way already a little. As more and more people I love pass into a world unseen, unknown by me, and unimaginable to me, I do feel that the past is increasingly crowded.

Although my Grandfather meant a lot to me I think it really began with the death of my Father, then my friend Steve, the suicide of Iain, most recently Cindy's death...and not just death. As he says, some just slip away, people I really liked, or even loved but for whatever reason just don't see anymore. It is increasingly a crowded past.

But, I try to make it a rallying cry for my present. I try to live as fully and passionately as I can. This isn't always easy and sometimes you just have to stop and let yourself watch bad TV and read frivolous novels and eat junk food and laugh. But, as you say, that's not 'wasted' time, that's time you give yourself as a gift when you need it.

Thank you for sharing your grief with us."